The true meaning of friendship

i once wondered if friendship and romance could cross paths. now i have discovered it could result in a disastoruos situation. the pain will take some time to heal, that i know, but the memory will not be erased. it is sad, at a time when i don't need all this pain, such things had to happen. i don't want to elaborate, i don't see the point in all of it. i guess i have to live and let die. life is so full of uncertainties. just when you think things are going good, Fate drives a cruel stake into your life. for me, i have to pick up the pieces and slowly move on in my life. i have to trudge slowly and carefully though and not try to trust my heart too much. because its because of that heart that i am hurt, and will continue this hurt, if i don't just stop from trudging backwards, but move on forward and keep following the bright path. i shall try not to fall again..i will not give up. i have done what i could to salvage but such is the intensity of Fate's cruelness. but i know somewhere He is looking at me and will keep testing me..for come Judgement day i know i will be among the best..

im aLL shOok Up

im stressed!! to the very core. nothing seems to be going right it seems to be getting worse and its driving me crazy. well my minds' a total blank now..so help me god!

point blank

my mind is a total blank at the moment . i want to express a thought but nothing seems to come to mind. its a little empty at the moment. i wonder how long it'll be like this. i hate it sometimes but its also a blessing in disguise..sometimes. i hate it when he starts to nag..God what a jerk. but i still stay..despite all the shit..yea yea..same shit different day...

bon nuit mon cherie

oh God it seems like ages since i last rambled. don't think i haven't forgotten, i haven't just that i have had it pretty bad. pass few months have been a nightmare and living has been utter hell. many times i tried to shut myself from all the pain but it just seemed pointless. has the world been a better place? not with all the recent bombs and killings..not with all the pain. everything doesn't seem right; it is just an empty hole out there. i stare at the night sky and i wonder..how about a new day? bon nuit mon cherie..j'ataime mie amor

Ramblings part II

ok..so another week gone bye and i still haven't decided how im gonna deal with this life. maybe im just crazy..yea thats it. im crazy..i always have been, maybe i never noticed fuck..anyway been thinking about having another blog but then again i dont see the darn point. actually my brain is empty right now like an empty vodka shOt hahaha man i missed all that..why the hell does the curriculum system have to introduce ABACUS? i have no FUCKING idea how the damn thing works.. i mean u have all these beads and they're supposed to value up to a million..A MILLION believe it or not!! and here i am still struggling and breaking my fingernails flicking those darn beads..i'd rather flick a dick anytime..hmm

how melayu can a 'melayu' be? i hate that term..i hate how melayuism is creeping up to the malay society..everything is so melayu it drives me crazy..FUSION? crap..nothing beats asam pedas and a bottle of becks..which brings me to the article i read recently in the papers abt HALAL beer HAHAHAHA man what a fuck up that was..HALAL beer? yea right, that'll be the day. its so silly how people react to it..but when they see the teenagers and whats been damaging they shut up..a bottle of beer defaces the malay community but malay girls working as GROs is totally ok? i dunno..go figure

im not saying im not proud to be malay but the thing that bothers me the most is their mentality..everybody has to be better..when they call a cheena kiasu..i think a malay would be more kiasu..if A's cousin has a p at home then B just has to have one. if A is wearing HUGE RoCK ON HER FINGER b HAS TO HAVE ONE THAT WEIGHTS A ToN..STUPID RIGHT? so for any MELAYU reading this, i stress I AM PROUD to be MELAYU just embarrassed by their sheer stupidity..

Ramblings of a deranged NYMPHO part I

sometimes, as im walking down the road, i have these ideas that pop up in my mind, how exactly i would write stuff in here..a minute later, i totally forget and then i just ramble on..which is what im doing right now. i was reading a friend's blog which seems a lot more interesting then mine...but then again..i don't really care what other people think..its my blog so fuck off..i have been having this strong desire to have my fifth kid..i know what people out there might be thinking...im crazy..or worst..NYMPHO..well im not. yes sex is my source of pleasure but then again..its all about sacredness..i think..there i go blabbering something that i have no clue about. im fond of doing such things...anyway..just recently i chanced upon this guy whom i've lost all contact with at a local forum site. we exchanged msn addys and LO AND BEHOLD all sparks and fire again. he's cute and hot..siGh..but well most men are (Tom Cruise, U K Shyam, SpongeBoB Squarepants.. just to name a few)..but i dunnoe..i've lost it..after all the shit ive been thru..i've just lost it..aaarrrggghhhh get a grip effa..life is too short for misery..but then again..misery likes company..and at this moment..i am very free..

Nympho on the loose

Oh God im having those pangs again..my eyes are wide and the pupils are enlarged..heavy breathing and my chest just wants to explode..my brain isn't functioning, the play button does work. the scene is on constant rewind and the air is icy cold. my breath is like cold mist, the tingle like stabs of sharp pins running against my skin..this explosion running through my vein and a sudden screams rocks the entire of my universe..man sex is great...ok that was cheesy but i have to admit. i'm horny..so horny i could fuck a toy dick..seriously..but the sensation would not be the same definately. so i have my fingers to do the walking and touching and feeling. so why am i not in bed screwing some retard's brains out? the one i am waiting for isn't free yet..or maybe im just hesitating..but i've come to a point where hesitation no loger exists and i may just have him soon enuff..here's one for you 'jason'.. and OH NO he ain't nO retard..he's one hell of a wild horse and im gonna get him GOOD hahaha eat your heart out PAMELA LEE!!!!!